The Onset of Becoming…
It can be pretty rewarding living in a household with multiple brothers and sisters. The play time, the talks, the company, the learning experiences, and even the disagreements is very befitting as a child. The one thing I really favored most as a younger sibling was receiving second-hand belongings from my older sisters. I enjoyed it because I admired my sisters, and truthfully, I always wanted to grow up and have a life just like theirs. They seemed to have it all together. They all had jobs, husbands, children, cars, homes, etc. From my small observation of their lives, they were extremely happy. So, because I admired them, and they appeared to be very well-off and contented, I wanted to be just like them. Thus, when they gave me anything from clothing and shoes to hair brushes and hairpins, in spite of what it was, what it looked like, whether it was too big or too small, it was wholly received and appreciated. Their hand-me-downs was deemed to be of great value to me because it belonged to them. Now, though I was a kid at the time, I valued what my sisters had because honestly, I had nothing of my own that I perceived valuable. I had no life, other than the one that was handed to me. I regarded my life to be nothing—no dreams, aspirations, plans or purpose. All I had to cling to was someone else’s. Thus, theirs looked better, and because it looked good on them, I thought it would look just as nice on me too.
1 Corinthians 13:11(KJV)
When I was a child, I spake as a child, I understood as a child, I thought as a child: but when I became a man, I put away childish things.
At some point in your becoming stage, God aligns you with His plans for you.
As I grew up, life and changes compelled me to steer away from striving to be like my siblings. I didn’t know where it came from or when it started to occur, but as I progressed to young adulthood, my cravings for life changed. I began envisioning myself suited in black corporate attire, carrying a briefcase, accompanied by an entourage of other business associates, managing my own business. Understand that I’m still living in the same circle with the same people in the same neighborhood. That basically consist of living in a low-income housing complex with our basic needs met through welfare, social security and food stamps. Our circle were mainly comprised of those who lived to same way. When this change of heart occurred, nothing else in my life changed except an appetite for something different. I had no idea that the hand of God was on my life, much less aligning me with purpose. My hunger for something new soon inspired me to move in a totally different direction–not away from the principles that was taught to me as a child, but away from the life that was handed me from birth—poverty, lack, project-living, broken home, broken life, broken me, etc. This is not intended to downplay any childhood rearing, for I believe my parents did a great job of preparing me for life. This is to highlight your understanding of realizing that at some point, you’ll have to discover what works best for you, as it relates to the plan and purpose that God has already pre-ordained for you. It’s about discovering your uniqueness, and working it—prayerfully.
"Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, before you were born I set you apart; I appointed you as a prophet to the nations."
The old life became stifling and too confining for what was inside me, thus realizing I had outgrown a life that was no longer befitting for where I was going. There are certain dreams and plans we may have had at certain points and places in our lives that just don’t fit where we are, much less where we’re going. Struggles in your life now may very well be due to trying to fit and function in a life that’s not yours. Maybe some of you can relate.
Ask yourself these questions:
- As an adult, do you have a habit of talking with others about important decisions that has to be made, and they often respond by saying things like “if I were you, I would…” and because they are someone whose life you admire, you always go along with their advice?
- Are you the type that always need consensus from others before deciding to do a thing?
- Do you always need consent or permission from others to follow through on decisions you make?
- Do you constantly value everyone else’s opinion and life over your own?
If the answer to any of these questions is yes, then you may be one of those who are stuck living a hand-me-down life, always receiving bits and pieces of someone else’s life in order to generate one of your own. You’re at risk of taking someone else’s life and making it your own. Can you relate?
Romans 8:29-30 (NIV)
29 For those whom He foreknew [and loved and chose beforehand], He also predestined to be conformed to the image of His Son [and ultimately share in His complete sanctification], so that He would be the firstborn [the most beloved and honored] among many believers. 30 And those whom He predestined, He also called; and those whom He called, He also justified [declared free of the guilt of sin]; and those whom He justified, He also glorified [raising them to a heavenly dignity].
You were built for this!
The key to wearing life that fits you is paying attention to your individuality. You have been uniquely customized to live the life that God has already laid out for you. If you don’t recognize the value of your own; if you don’t regard your life as special and unique, you’ll likely end up cleaving and clinging to a life that’s more appealing and attractive to you, yet, one that belong to someone else. We were created with a specific distinctiveness in the mind of God. Everything and everyone does not fit us or our purpose. At the beginning of our lives, we put on whatever life handed us to wear. Our environment and parental guides were in control then. However, at some point, as life really kicks in, so will opportunities to make choices that will align you with the original purpose and plan designed for you.
Honestly, handing down clothing, shoes, or any other tangible items is well and good, but when it comes to my life, I chose to trust God’s plan for me, to be authentic and original, consistently taking it from one level to the next.